so its been a year almost and its like nothing goes right for me....i had this awesome boyfriend...well i still do...but it seems that everything has changed now....i have no idea who to turn to..,i dont want to turn this into some emo diary with a shit load of emotions and just crying about everything...but i think this can help me out....well so....this boyfriend was wonderful at first....i still live here at the same house.....(with his mother)....which i dreadfully dread..lol.....seriously who likes living i guess with a mother in law...its horrific...i want to move out....but what would i do without squanto(the boyfriend)...and so...i wanna stay here.,,not share him with his mother because she tends to get into my balls..and its non of her business knowing what the hell goes in our lives...but its her son right....does she have to know what the hell to think.....i just plainly dont like her...sorry babe....anyays back to the story....the boyfriend was wonderful,......treating me like the queen of england,...showing me that i am the importance of his life....now a year has past since we started going out and its going down hill.....i hate it when he is on myspace...loooking at other girls pictures....and adding request.....maybe im just too jealous...or maybe i really want this to work and he has no importance in the world.....its like he doesn't even try anymore....i have to ask for a kiss all the time...i have to ask to hold his hand....nothing is the same anymore..i want to settle down with someone...not look for someone else...or maybe like my mom says i am just using him as a security blanket...i dont know....im just soo confused....i just wish he was like before loving and caring....not a cold hearted person who only thinks about himself...and how i am putting rules into his life...come on....if you saw a person smoke a pack a day..would you try to make their life better by trying to help them stop smoking?.....or ask for a simple task as to not go into myspace as much....he spends his life on the computer all day....now i have caught him several times watching porn...and now....i have asked him three times not to.....he has promised never to do it again...all three times...and once again....i found him....guys...if you know a girl does not like for you to look at porn all the time...dont do it,.....personally for me...i think that i am not good for him since he has to go to some fake website to release his pleasure...when his girl is right in the next room....GO ASK HER!!!...well i feel much better now....lol......

wow sorry i have neglected you guys but i have been really busy trying to catch here back at home....so four months have already passed by...and now i am finally happy...i moved out from my parents....and now i live with my boyfriend in a beautiful house....A HOUSE....how beautiful is that?....a house of my own.....i work like a slave still but i got to pay bills if you know what i mean.....well thats all for now......hopefully i can write more now that i have a space for my so called office....lol.....

so i finally moved to texas, all because some crazy bitch who i lived with in cleveland found a letter i had written to my mom about how weird she is, and so she threateneds to kill me and so i had to move back. not to mention she was a queen of a gang.

ok...so ever since i have moved here to cleveland...there has been problems pilled up for me...from left to right. people getting shot...people stealing from the family.....and people getting beat up.....this isn't cool for me...i am not used to seeing all this violence in three days....coming from texas....let just say...its a better place to live than here...Not to mention i miss my family and my old buddies...hopefully i can go back this march....but i shall tell you the FULL details later....its time for me to get my beauty sleep.....i gots to work tomorrow...!!! OY!

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i am new to this...so have some patience...i will learn how to fix this...lol....hope i can meet some really cool people....and i shall post an entry really soon!....